"Feminist" is a label that I happily sign up to. But a little explanation is needed, as it's a term that is often misunderstood or unjustly maligned. Here's my own personal feminist philosophy.
Feminism for me started out as having the choice. As a reasonably hard-headed woman who was used to operating in male environments, I never let social expectations stand in my way, and I have to admit a slight satisfaction in deliberately defying them on occasion (it's a constructive outlet for my rebellious side). So when my daughter came along, I applied the same rules. Unfortunately, it soon turned out that my daughter was more then capable of making her own rules. I can't say if these have been formed by subtle messages sent to her by marketing and media outfits, peer pressure from the assorted preschoolers she hangs out with or her own nature and personality, but the rules are: princesses come second only to fairies, anything pink or frilly is amazing, and Elsa from Frozen is the best thing since birthday cake. One thing was for sure: I had little hope of recruiting my 3-year-old to the feminist cause by telling her that she couldn't have any of this, in the name of equality.
So, I had to re-think. In the new regime all these things are all fine - after all, a philosophy of "choice" which takes options away does not really make sense. Instead, I decided, it was most important that Hattie not receive any messages saying that she couldn't be something. So, dressing head to toe in pink and refusing to wear trousers is no barrier to being a knight or a pirate in our house.
This message gets repeated very frequently in an attempt to counter the negative messages. "To the pirate ship!" my daughter calls, and faces protestations from her (male) friend - she can't be a pirate, she's wearing a crown. Well, she can be a princess and a pirate at the same time if she'd like, I explain. Would you like to be a princess too, little boy? He wrinkles his nose - princesses are for girls.
This illustrates how the inequality cuts both ways - "feminism" is an issue for men too. They are also subject to archaic expectations of the roles that they must play in society. As much as my daughter is being denied the opportunity to explore the more masculine aspects of her personality, the opposite is also true: boys are denied the opportunity to explore the feminine aspects of their own.
Why is nobody up in arms about this? Unfortunately, this is symptomatic of an even deeper prejudice: feminine characteristics are still viewed as less desirable than masculine ones. While I was busy proving that I could do anything a man could do, I had completely missed the point that you shouldn't need to act like a man to be seen to be as good as a man. Why should someone with a penchant for pink princesses be less likely to make a good CEO than someone who chooses blue superheroes?
The fact is that everyone should be treated equally based on their merit, rather than their gender identity, race, or sexual orientation, and that merit should not be tainted by outdated assumptions. In fact, everyone should be treated as an individual, and judged individually on their qualities. That's not feminism, that's just being fair.
If being fair for fairness' sake isn't your thing, then there's a more self-serving perspective you can apply to the whole thing. If everyone else is writing someone off as an airhead because they dress in pink and are a bit giggly, then surely it's an opportunity to take advantage of the fact that they're really, really good at process modelling. And in a highly competitive market, do you want to be the person who overlooked the kick-ass developer because they wear lipstick (male or female)? Anyway, it's been shown time and again that diverse teams just perform better.
It's time to ditch the assumptions and start looking at what the people around you can do, rather than focusing on how they're different to you. And reassess whether your definition of "good", "talented" or "professional" is shaped by centuries of male (not to mention white, heterosexual, middle/upper class) privilege.
